


i remember

by amyssantiago



Series: peraltiago archives [1]
Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Arguments, Comfort, Domestics, Emotional, F/M, Fluff, Hurt, Inspired by Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV), Lots of Crying, M/M, Peraltiago, happy endings doe, hints of anxiety, kinda sad, mature themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:48:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23503378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amyssantiago/pseuds/amyssantiago
Summary: jake and amy have been together for just over a year, but have been arguing on and off for the past few months. but that is until it all gets too much for amy.
Relationships: Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago, Kevin Cozner/Ray Holt
Series: peraltiago archives [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1691182
Kudos: 19





	i remember

**_Thursday morning- 8:56am_ **

I lay awake. Thinking about me, Jake, our relationship. I remembered the days where I'd wake up in his loving arms, and as I'd try to get out he'd tighten his grip and pull me into a warm hug; then I'd stay with him and a big smile would make it's way across my face. I wouldn't care about anything else in the world, all my problems would instantly melt away. Jake was all I'd ever wanted, he was all I'd ever needed. But things were so very different now. I just wished everything would go back to what it was before. But I knew they couldn't.  
I woke up that morning feeling the same as I did every morning- wanting to go straight back to sleep again. I lay awake in bed, just staring up at the ceiling, wondering what happened to us. I glanced over to find that Jake wasn't asleep next to me. I sighed and sat up against the headboard. I was so exhausted from fighting with him all the time. I looked over at my alarm clock on my desk and realized that it was almost 9:00. I couldn't get over how much I missed Jake. I missed him so much.  
It had been two days since we'd talked or had a proper conversation. Sometimes I would count the days where we didn't talk. This would normally happen after one of our big arguments.

At the bottom of my drawer, I kept this card Jake wrote from when we'd come close to over a week without talking. I don't exactly remember what it was about, but it was a huge one. I got out of bed and rummaged around the drawer until I found the card. Inside, Jake said he wrote with his neatest handwriting. You could tell that he was trying as soon as you opened it.  
  


_To my dearest Amy,_

_I really hope we can get over this. I'm so sorry for everything. You mean the world to me and I can never forgive myself for what I did to you. I'll try to be more careful with my actions and words moving forward. If you're up for it, dinner is on me tonight._

_With all my love,_

_Jake x_   
  


We went out that night & had the most amazing dinner at this beautiful restaurant. It was crazy to think about how so much has changed between us.  
I fell to the floor sobbing. I think how much I missed him was really starting to hit me. I missed everything that I've always loved about him. His soft, fuzzy hair, that drove me crazy, his baby brown eyes which would always kill me & even just cuddling up next to him on the couch after a bad day. I loved him so much, but I couldn't bring myself to tell him all this.  
Then I realized I had to go into work.

  
_-pull yourself together santiago-_

I stood up & put the card back into the drawer, carefully putting my clothes over it. I then dragged myself to the bathroom and decided that I was just going to try & get on with my day. I didn't have to speak to Jake if I didn't want to. Unless it was absolutely necessary.

**_Third person POV_ **

At the precinct, Jake came in early for once and had his face buried in work, trying to get on with it whilst ignoring the world around him. He was playing music quietly through one earphone as a bit of background noise. Every time the elevator would ding, he would throw himself around, just to check whether it was Amy or not.

**_8:49am_ **   
_*ding*_   
_Nope, just Rosa_

**_8:58am_ **   
_*ding*_   
_Goddamit. Charles_

**_9:14am_ **   
_*ding*_   
_Hitchcock & Scully.._

_'great. somethings obviously wrong if shes later than those two' Jake thought to himself_

Jake sighed & returned to his work. He saw Charles begin to walk over in his direction before returning back to his desk. 

_-weird-_

He constantly thought about texting her, or maybe calling? Just to see if everything was okay. Santiago's would rather be an hour early, than 5 minutes late; it was so out of character for Amy to do something like this.

After over an hour of waiting, at 10:03am precisely, the elevator doors opened, revealing Amy Santiago dressed in one of her more subtle pantsuits, as to not be noticed. Jake flung himself around in his chair to see his beautiful girlfriend catch his eye before quickly turning away. He was smiling at her before it slowly faded as she looked away. The entire precinct was staring at her as she walked in, she brushed it off and continued as if nothing had changed. Rosa came over, just to check if she was okay. Amy assured her that she was, even though her eyes were still slightly red & puffy from this morning. Amy began burying herself in paperwork, just like Jake, who was constantly looking over at her.  
"Santiago, a word in my office please," Holt said, standing next to Gina.  
Amy nodded, clicking her pen & placing it neatly down her desk. She locked eyes with Jake for a moment before returning her gaze elsewhere.  
Jake frowned sadly, he was expecting Amy to at least smile back at him or something

**—**

"Santiago, I've called you in here today to ask about your extreme absence this morning. Would you care to explain yourself?" 

"Um- well, I-" She could feel Holt glaring at her from across the desk as she looked down and 

_-quick amy think goddamit-_

"I- I overslept" Amy blurted out, she was getting more and more nervous as time went on. Twitching her thumbs & bouncing her leg up and down.

"Are you sure about that Detective" He questioned, sitting back in his seat slightly.

"Umm.." Amy could feel another flood of tears coming her way. "Excuse me-" She got out of the chair & rushed out of the captain's office.

The door to Holt's office flew open and Amy stormed out with tears streaming down her face as the entire precinct went silent. Everyone in the room stared towards her as she covered her face and made her way across the bullpen, then past the briefing room.

Rosa walked over to Jake and tapped his shoulder. "Jake is she okay? She said she was but she's definitely not" Rosa asked him, a hint of sympathy in her voice. Jake debated whether to tell her that they haven't been talking a lot recently, but there was no time- "Jake!" Rosa hit his shoulder again, harder this time.

  
"Okay, Amy and I haven't been on very good terms recently, we haven't talked in a couple days and now she will barely look at me, that's all I got. " Jake admitted. "Look, could you go find Amy & I'll talk to Holt?" He timidly asked Rosa, slightly scared to hear her response. 

"I hate this crap, but I'll do it for Amy," Rosa said as she walked off to find her. Jake quickly ran over to Holt's office.

"Sir, Amy's not been doing too good these past few days, don't be too hard on her..please?"

"Okay, but she was over an hour late today. Please make sure she's feeling okay, this is nothing like her normal behavior" Holt sighed. Jake agreed and walked out to find Rosa coming towards him.

"She's not in the ladies room, I seriously think that you need to talk to her" Rosa admitted.

"Where would sh- nevermind" Jake answered and hastily went towards the evidence lockup.

He took a deep breath, fixed his shirt, played with his hair a little and eventually began opening the door. He slowly walked in, "Ames?"

\---

Amy heard the door open & she pushed herself up closer against the wall. Then _that_ nickname (that she loved) being called, but she stayed curled up in a ball at the very back corner of the room.

Jake shut the door & looked around the room, trying to find her somewhere in there. He eventually saw her shaking body in the back corner. He locked the door, as he didn't want them to be disturbed. 

"Amy?" He said softly walking over to her. She lifted her head and looked at him. "I'm sorry" he whispered as tears formed in his eyes at the sight of Amy like this. Jake sat next to her & placed his arm gently over her shoulder.

  
"I missed you," She said quietly curling up next to him. "I missed us"

"I missed you too. Now hey, c'mon don't be upset" He sniffed softly & rubbed her arm. She began to cry harder; she was somewhat surprised to hear Jake say it back. "Why weren't we speaking again?" 

"I-I don't know.." Amy spluttered through tears as Jake kissed her forehead chastely.

"Can we forget about it? I hate it when we fight and I hate not talking to you. You know how much I love talking," He smiled, letting a stray tear slip down his cheek. 

"Unless I remember, then yes" She forcefully smiled back through tears. "Look, I can't do this-"

"What do you mean?"

"I need to go home. Now.." Amy said trying to get up, but Jake grabbed her arm and pulled her back into his warm embrace, hugging her so tightly, as if he was never going to let go. She smiled slightly, letting more tears fall.

"Do you remember when we used to do this in the morning?" Jake chuckled as they both burst into tears, but were still smiling. Memories came flooding back to her, filling her mind making her smile into Jake's chest. 

They stayed like this for a good ten minutes, occasionally chuckling at a memory that one of them had just remembered.

"Do you still want to go home?" Jake whispered, holding her hands in his & wiping tears off his cheek. Amy nodded, losing her smile and Jake got up and put his warm jacket over her shoulders. She got up and almost fell into Jake's arms. He held her so tightly and their tears had left stains over both of their shirts. Jake readjusted the jacket slightly so that some of it was covering her face, and that he was covering the rest & put his arm back around her.

They walked out of the evidence lockup and the bullpen once again went silent. Holt was standing by Gina's desk and looked up as soon as he saw them. Jake shook his head in their direction & Holt reassuringly nodded back.

He led Amy into the elevator. As soon as the doors closed Amy threw herself into him. Jake put his chin on her head & rubbed circles into her back.

"I wish everything would go back," Amy started before choking on her tears, "to how it used to be. I-I'm so sorry"

"Ames, what are you sorry for? There's nothing for y-" Jake stopped as the elevator suddenly dropped down a few floors. Amy clung onto him even tighter, as he covered her head with one hand and rapidly pressed the button so that the doors would open. "c'mon dammit" he said under his breath. "fuck it-" Jake pressed down on the emergency bell button and rang it multiple times.

A voice on the other end said "Yo it's the elevator technician whattup?"

"Seriously? Whattup?" Jake sighed, slightly agitated.

"I was trying a new style of answering; it didn't work sorry bro. What's the problem?"

"The elevator dropped & I'm guessing it's broken. Can you just get us out? We need to get home"

"Bro that sucks. But it's literally 10:52 soo- you're gonna need to wait"

"Can you just call a damn mechanic or something?"

"Yeah, because I _definitely_ have a mechanic on speed-dial," He said sarcastically.

"Well can you get someone out to fix it. As I said, we need to get home"

"A please would've been nice," the guy said before it went silent on the other end.

"Well Ames, looks like we're going to be stu-" Jake was cut off by Amy placing her hand and his face and pressing her lips against his. The kiss felt like it was needed. Like it was something they'd both been longing for. After they broke apart, Amy rested her head in the crook of Jake's neck as he rubbed her forearm.

"Thank you" Amy whispered. Jake chuckled to himself, feeling a sense of pride rush through his body. Amy nudged him "What are you giggling at" she laughed.

"My super-smart, incredible girlfriend" He smiled as Amy tightened her grip around his body. "Love you Ames," He said slightly quieter this time.

"Love you moree" She teased as the elevator doors began to open.

"Ight so unless y'all can get out through here," the elevator technician said pointing towards a small gap at the top of the doors, "You're gonna have to wait for around an hour until the mechanic gets here"

Jake looked over at Amy and she nodded back to him. "It's worth a try I guess," He said.

"Alright! Who's going first then?" The technician said enthusiastically.

"I will" Amy whispered to Jake, "If you're okay with that?"

"Yes of course, be careful" He replied, kissing her forehead. 

Amy let go of Jake and grabbed onto the floor on the second level of the building. She took a deep breath and pulled herself up and everyone around the elevator grabbed onto her and helped her up. They gave her a cup of coffee and tried to sit her down, but she refused and stayed stood up to wait for Jake. 

It was now Jake's turn to climb out of the elevator. He took one step closer & the elevator began to tip. He shot backwards, panic covering his face. Amy let out a short scream and turned away before being comforted by a female officer.

"It's now or never," Jake said to himself, before jumping up and grabbing onto the floor as everyone on the floor pulled him up as quick as they could. The elevator doors shut and it dropped the entire way down to the very bottom floor. Amy quickly ran over to Jake as he stood up & his jacket fell off her shoulders. She threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly. The elevator tech picked up his jacket & gave it back to them. Jake passed it to Amy and hugged the technician. "Thank you bro" 

"You liked my way of answering?" He gasped

"Yeah. I was just a little stressed at the time sorry" Jake chuckled.

"Safe. I'm Brandon. Brandon Davis"

"I'm Jake Peralta & this is-"

"Amy. Amy Santiago" Amy chimed in and reaching out to shake his hand.

"Nice to meet you guys, y'all are a pretty cute couple. Better go call that mechanic!" He smiled & walked off.

Jake & Amy thanked everyone for helping them; they couldn't be more grateful. Jake put his jacket back on and slipped his hand around her waist. She smiled softly at him as they walked down the stairs & out of the precinct, just hoping that things could stay like this forever.

"Do you remember the first time we walked through Prospect Park?" Jake asked with a smile on his face

Amy nodded & smiled "Yup, I remember" 

"Do you remember when I tripped and fell in that giant puddle?"

"I remember"

"Do you remember when we kissed on the bench next to the lake?"

"Yes Jake, I remember.. everything" Her smile slightly faded.

Her mind began to fill with memories from that huge argument they had just a few weeks ago. 

Every word that Jake said to her.

Every word that she said to him.

—

_"Jake Peralta you're such a fucking child!"_

_"At least I actually have a sense of humor & I'm not smartass!"_

_"Me? A smartass? Are you kidding me Jake? You're more of a smartass than I'll ever be!"_

_"Me kidding you? Wow, what bullshit! complete bullshit.."_

_"D'you know what I want to do? I want to fucking leave!"_

_"Well go on pack your bags then! No one's stopping you!"_

_"I can't believe you" Amy's rage-filled voice rang throughout the apartment, "fucking coward.." she growled as she walked towards the bedroom and slammed the door with such force that multiple photo frames fell off the wall._

_She could hear Jake growling, sighing, making angry remarks downstairs as he threw something across the room and it smashed to pieces._ _She was curled up in a ball on the bed, the duvet covering most of her body; crying & crying with no signs of it stopping. _ _She later found out that Jake had smashed one of his mom's hand-crafted vases by throwing it against the wall across from him._

  
—

Amy's heart began to race, listening to that conversation on repeat like a broken record. She looked down at part of her arm that was visible as her blazer sleeve rolled up slightly. Her small scars from around two weeks ago began to burn & were turning bright red.  
She lost her train of thought to the sound of Jake's soft voice as he stopped her.

"Ames? You okay?" 

Amy nodded as Jake leant in to kiss her. She froze for a second before kissing him back, putting her hands around his neck and all the thoughts she had disappeared.

"So, do you want to go there again?"

"Of course" Amy laughed, her heart still pounding.  
Hand in hand, Jake & Amy made their way over to Prospect Park, ate hot dogs, kissed, reminisced & wished that everything would stay this way forever.   
They sat on the same bench next to the lake, Amy's head resting on Jake's chest.

"I love you so much, thank you for everything" Amy smiled. 

"I love you" Jake smiled back. "Amy?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you still wanna go home? We can cuddle on the couch, I think it would be a lot more comfy than this bench" He laughed.

"If that's what you want," her smile fading and her mind drifting once again.

_—_

_"I'm fucking done with your shit Jake. Clean up your goddamn mess!"_

_"Amy I did! I put my shoes away and cleaned the dishes!"_

_"You need to do more though! It's all well just 'putting your shoes away' but what about making the bed in the morning? Vacuuming? Literally anything! You know what! Go to Charles' for an hour or something. I need time to think & I can't have you nagging me whenever you find a swear word in a wordsearch puzzle or something dumb like that. Just get out!"_

_"Well fine! If that's what you want!" Jake said, grabbing his jacket and slamming the door shut behind him. Amy instantly broke down in tears on the couch._   
_Jake also let a few tears slip out as he left their apartment block. She just wished that they could disagree for once without one of them slamming the door shut & storming off._

_—_

Itwas the argument which had been stopping them from talking for the past couple days.  
She remembered.

"I remember.." She said under her breath.

"Huh?" before Jake could even think about it, Amy was pressing her lips onto his for the second time today. Once they parted, Amy's eyes filled with tears once again.

"Ames what's going on with you today?"

"I-I remember. Everything. Every word you said to me, every word I said back to you.."

"Everything Jake. Everything" Jake put his arms around Amy's and hugged her tightly.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean any of it I swear. We were both just angry at the time.." Jake said, attempting to console her, but instead, began to cry himself.

"We must look like such creeps right now" Amy laughed, lifting her head up & wiping her tears

"Hometime?" He giggled, standing up and lifted his arm for her to take.

"You're a child Jake Peralta. A complete child" She giggled, sneaking under his arm & kissing him on the cheek.

  
"Shut up Santiago" He joked, kissing her back harder and putting his arm around her & she rested her head on his shoulder as they walked back to the apartment.

**Author's Note:**

> hope you all enjoyed this, feel free to comment, leave kudos, i accept criticisms and will happily take suggestions/prompts. i lowkey love this one even though it is pretty dark haha. thank you for reading <3


End file.
